1. Do you find it difficult to be open and loving to people you know?
  2. Is it hard to be vulnerable in intimate relationships?
  3. Are you aware of your frequently used defense strategies? Do you use avoidance, anger, work, a screen, dissociation, or substances to avoid authentic contact?


  1. Are you overly judgmental or critical of others? Does this effect your job, career or your capacity to make money?
  2. Do you “hide” from strangers?
  3. Do you lack a good set of tools that facilitate authentic connection?
  4. Do you get into “messy” fights or conflicts with other people?


  1. Is it difficult for you to forgive?
  2. Do you harbor old hurts and resentments from the past toward yourself or others?
  3. Do you ever sense your heart area being closed or shielded?


  1. Can you empathize with the pain of those who hurt you?
  2. Is it difficult to feel for those less fortunate than yourself?


  1. Is it difficult to let spiritual energy and inspiration open your heart?
  2. Is it a challenge to open quickly to the beauty of nature?
  3. Is it hard to be deeply moved by music or the arts?


  1. Have you had a hard time loving deeply and fully?
  2. Did you NOT feel deeply loved and accepted as a child?
  3. Do you have trouble loving and accepting yourself just the way you are?
  4. Do you have a lot of feelings of shame and unworthiness? Does this effect your confidence?



  1. How would it feel to be easily focused on the essential beauty of other people?
  2. Imagine being able to stay present and compassionate during conflict.
  3. How would it feel to have a kind, tender, and supportive relationship with yourself?
  4. Imagine having a useful set of tools to soothe any pain you may feel in your heart.
  5. How would it feel to be available for “undefended love”?
  6. Imagine having your heart easily open by spiritual inspiration, and feeling bliss and love.
  7. Imagine being able to have compassion for those that hurt you.
  8. How would it feel to be in a loving and supportive work environment?
  9. Imagine being able to lovingly soothe the wounds of your inner child.